Liveblogging the September Vogue: An Exercise in Futility

Fresh from the "Why Didn't We Think of That" files, the editor at Glossed Over (a magazine blog we just discovered today) liveblogged her reading of the September Vogue. Bravo, G.O. You are a braver woman than I. And check this out, it took her 7 hours before finally giving in to the beast of a read. I plucked out some hilarious highlights for you, but the post is best read in full:

8:13 p.m.: Four Prada pages with strange black plastic-looking...things.  We do not get it.  Someone explain?

8:15 p.m.: We have arrived at the table of contents, page 54.

8:19 p.m.: So if Kate Moss looks like Grover from Sesame Street in that fluffy electric blue Versace coat, how will any mere mortals wear the thing?  We like the strapless dress with the opaque black tights, though.  Yes, we are in the middle of another 50 pages of ads and still have not hit the rest of the table of contents.

...

9:01 p.m.: Christy Turlington!  A supermodel!  How very novel.

9:02 p.m.: Hey, Gap, we see Selma Blair and Lucy Liu featured in your current campaign.  They are lovely people, we are sure, but is that the best you can do?  If you were trying to land hip and relevant actresses for your ads, you are a few years behind with those two.  Also, why did you destroy any charm Sarah Silverman might have had?  She looks like a malformed emo Annie Hall in this picture!

...

9:27 p.m.: Six pages promoting fur!  Hope Anna Wintour is prepared to get another cream pie in the face at the Paris shows this fall.  The ad calls fur “the natural, responsible choice”--natural, sure, but responsible?  How is that?  Is the use of fur somehow keeping the tragic overpopulation of minks in check?

9:39 p.m.: Time for “Life with Andre”!

9:44 p.m.: We are not the most fashion-savvy person by any means, but we still hate when we are confused by Talley’s fashion references.  He is like the couture version of Dennis Miller.

...

12:34 a.m.: You know how lingerie ads usually feature women lounging around their homes in a matching, ornate bra and panty?  Well, La Perla`s ad has a woman lounging around her DECREPIT WOODEN ROWBOAT in an intricate set. At last, a realistic depiction of how we women wear our fancy lingerie!

12:39 a.m.:  Article about Rainer Werner Fassbinder.  We have no idea.

I bow down to your brilliance, Glossed Over. You've just utilized this blogging medium to its fullest potential. Well, close anyway.